Tuesday, 29 May 2012

The reason I have been quiet is because....

I have been suffering from depression, since the end of last year. It is one of the worst things I have been through, and with the help of my family, friends and the doctor, I seem to be on the right track, slowly but surely I am recovering.

It is very debilitating, it made me lose weight, I couldn't eat, I cried a lot. I was also scared of going out, getting on a bus and even going to the shops.  I also suffed with Paranoia, I was mess. My friends helped me alot, but it was ME who had to come to grips with it, and slowly get back to normal, it was hard and I could see no way out of it, until one day, I had to go to my eldest sons by bus (3 buses actually) it petrified me, but I did it!!

I have been reading all of your blogs, I follow most on Google Reader, and hopefully I can get my blog back up and running.

I am grateful to all my  friends, and blogger friends, who noticed my absent, and sent me messages, it meant a lot to me.  Thank you.


  1. Happy to have you back, Anne. I had noticed your absence, but thought that you had just given up blogging. A lot of people do, you know, without any notice or warning. Getting over your depression required a great deal of courage, and you've shown that you can do it. Go for it, and keep getting better!! All the best, Martine
    P.S. I will be meeting your friend Diane next week in France. Pity you can't be there, but we'll certainly toast to your refound health!

  2. So good to see you back blogging, Anne! I have watched my late husband and my daughter suffer from depression and I know it's far more than the blues. So congratulations on getting the help you needed and just know I'm here rooting for you. I can hardly wait to meet you - if you're up to it - we're staying in Ely for 2 nights and will meet up with Ellie and Sally. Hopefully you can join us for the afternoon or whatever. Chin up! Sending hugs!

  3. Dear Anne. It was SO good to see this post come up on my blog roll today. I am so very very sorry that you have been going through such a dreadful ordeal., and I pray for your full recovery and that the light will start shining again for you. You were very brave to get out and catch those buses, so well done you. I'm glad you have had good support from family and friends but, as you quite rightly said, at the end of the day it is down to you, and I am so pleased that you feel you have turned a corner. Onwards and upwards my friend! xx

  4. Glad to have you back. I've missed your optimism and beautifully illustrated postds. I was a 'sometime' commenter but an 'everytime' reader.

    Depression is like a black tunnel where it is difficult to see the end. I've been there, although my tunnel wasn't black just shades of grey. The end is there, and it looks like you've almost reached it.

    Very best wishes

  5. Dear Anne,
    I noticed with great joy your return to the blogroll!
    I am very sorry you had to go through such a terrible ordeal and wish you all the strength you need to stay in better health.

  6. I am sorry you have been going through such a tough time. But I am glad that you are coming through that and I hope your spirits continue to be lifted.

  7. How nice to see you back! I was sorry to learn of your difficulties, but relieved to hear you are on the mend. Hopefully, we'll be reading more of you now! Writing has always been a wonderful cure for me!

  8. so happy to see you in my google reader today .... hopefully you have turned that corner now and its up all the way hugs x x x x x

  9. I'm sorry to hear you went through that! I did too and was on anti depressants, I just cried alot! Like you said Friends and Family are a God send when you need to get back to normal. Glad to see you back!

  10. I thought you were taking a blogging break. I'm glad you've come through the worst of it and were able to find the right care to help you. Big hugs!

  11. Hi Anne, well done for being courageous enough to take a break, deal with your depression and be honest about what is happening with us. I began blogging at the end of 2009 3 months after being diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I found the blog very helpful as were the people I met along the way including you. Take care of you Anne. xxx

  12. Coraggio Anne. One step at a time. Don't be afraid to lean on others, including your virtual friends! xxx

  13. What a brave post, Anne. I'm so glad you're coming through the worst.
    I remember standing behind the bathroom door and not knowing why I wanted to hide. Depression is a horrible uncontrollable thing. Do you have medication? I find my happy pill (seroxat) changed my life.
    Good to have you back.
    Liz x

  14. (((((((((( Anne))))))).
    You cannot know how proud I am of you. You have been taking baby steps to recovery and this post took a lot of courage.
    You have taken a big step.

    You are right; the final motivator was yourself. You had all kinds of love and care around you. But, you had to open that love to yourself.

    God bless you, my friend.


  15. I can understand.....depression runs in my family. I was on ad pills about 10 years ago for awhile...Keep on hanging in there!!
    Love you

  16. Although I tried to blog through it, I went thought a tough period myself.
    I saw this post several days ago but I've been "out of it". Still, I saved it so that I could comment.
    I'm sorry that you're feeling this way. Isn't it funny how one perceives a fellow blogger only to learn more?
    My Sister's death took me to a different place. A place that I've been crawling out of ever since November.
    Anne, I wish for you the very best. Please know that you are not alone.
    I will think of you tonight as I go to sleep.
    Your Friend, m.

  17. I have seen a few cases of depression among my friends ... and they who have suffered seem all to have managed to get out of it. Happy to see that you are again on the good track! Maybe the moment for a new trip to Paris? :-)

  18. I am happy that you have good friends and loved ones there for you. You are a kind and beautiful lady and I wish you more and more sunny days no matter the weather outside.

  19. I had noticed your absense too. I'm glad you are getting a handle on it and that you will be out and exploring the world very soon.

  20. Sorry that I missed this post but life has been chaotic since our return from the UK. I am really sorry that we could not meet up but at least we managed the phone call.
    I am delighted that you are back on your blog and I hope that you carry on improving. As you know I think of you often. Take care and we will keep in touch Diane xx

  21. Hi Anne,

    This post could be about me, too.. I have been going through very serious depression since my surgery-- It all started right afterwards and lasted for the past 10 months..

    I have to say, it's been one of the WORST LIFE experiences I have EVERY gone though.. I can understand when you went though ... It IS very dehabilitating.. it breaks every part your spirit and it's hard as hell to get out without the help of caring and supportive friends and family.. You are lucky because I had some very good friends who helped me but my family was NOT there for me.. and neither were a number of other people I thought would be..
    I kind of went crazy in my mind, THANK GOD.. I feel like I am past the bad stuff that took over..
    I am sending you a huge hug and my healing energy and I am proud of you... Because I know that people can help but that it's the individual who is actually in front of the wheel and has to make all the efforts to change and try to get out of it..
    I pray for your continued healing and I really hope that you're okay..


  22. Yay you did not let on to me that you were coming back to the blogging world Anne. I am so pleased you have decided to do so.

  23. I am so sorry for you Anne, what a hard winter and spring you must have had.
    Good to have you back.

  24. I am glad to hear that you are doing better and are determined to triumph. I think that Peter's suggestion of a little trip to Paris would help the recovery... add to that some macarons.

    Thinking of you.

  25. Anne, you are not alone, and it is not all for naught. This experience is probably one of the most profound of your life, and will give you a pool of wisdom that you never imagined before. So many of us have fought through anxiety based depression and have come out the other side.

    You'll be fine, better than fine.

    What you are calling paranoia is anxiety, Anne. Anxiety, left to its own devices, will stick us in a hole that we feel we can never leave. But there's a big gap between what we feel when we are in the grips of panic and reality. The feelings of paranoia come from complete and total exhaustion. Your mind scares itself, calms down and then immediately re scares itself until you've lost sense of what is happening.

    I am happy you are starting to put one foot in front of the other, Anne. I am sorry I was not here earlier to help.

  26. Awww...sweetie. I know you are not alone. i've gone through it at times and it made me sad and angry too. However, do know ....you have family, friends..us too. You can make it Anne, worry not. You are strong. You are beautiful, and this depression will not get the best of you. I know its easy for me to say it, but you know you are better. there's so much beauty around you and life is worth celebrating. Enjoy life :) With lots of hugs and love sending to you....love/MK

  27. Hey Anne
    hope things are going better for you and you will be back soon. Did you get a chance to enjoy some of the Queens diamond jubilee?


  28. I do check your blog and wondered where you have been. I am glad to hear that you are on the road to recovery and I hope with each day you feel better and better and will be back to your blog too. Hang in there!

  29. Ann - I had no idea, but I'm so sorry you had to go through this experience with depression. It sounds like you're finding your way back and I hope you continue to get better.

  30. Good luck Anne and glad to know you're feeling better. Sharing is a good way of getting through things.


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