I would like to wish
All my friends
a Very
Happy New Year.
2017.
I have been away from the Blog world for nearly a year now. Most of my friends will know what has been happening since then. Last night I had a rough nights sleep. All I could think about was my blog , which was strange. I felt like I had to write there and then but it was very late. I didn't want it to be a sad post. People shy away from posts like this but it is so important to talk. To share and be truthful. Why are we afraid of opening up? Are we scared of what people will say or how they will react? No one knows what is going to happen to them, where life will take them. We all need support.
July 2015
My husband left me.
He has moved on, life with his
Vietnamese partner ( who he brought over from Vietnam)
, had a baby too.
2016
I suffered with severe depression for
a few months, and thankfully
I have recovered.
Divorce proceedings started
and I had to put my house on
the market.. sadly.
2017
We still aren't divorced and the house has sold.
In March I have to move out.
So now I have to find somewhere to live
and a job to support myself.
I have had lots of super support from friends far and wide,
bloggers who are my Face book friends.
I did a lot of thinking too. How my life has changed.
People say to me
"things happen for a reason"
"Think what you can do, all that freedom"
"It is going to be a year for you to move forward"
When you are alone, we think too much.
All I have had to think about in the year is
Where am I going to live?
A very hard decision, especially when you don't know
what your financial situation is going to be.
People say
"Where do you want to be?"
Another hard choice, considering I have only
moved to where my husband's work took him.
I have a very caring family, sons and grandchildren.
who have helped me enormously.
Super friends too.
During my Depression
I avoided all Social Media, even my phone.
I was so lost. And if it wasn't for a dear cousin
in South Africa, who told me ..
GO back onto FB , it is a life saver, I
don't know where I would be!!
So a Big Thank you to her .
Last night I also thought of a lovely friend
I once had. She is in France. And for a few reasons
we are no longer friends.. I miss her.
She might read this, she might not,
but I am sure if she does, she knows who
I am talking about.
We have to pluck up the courage to
open up and be truthful to ourselves.
Ask for help, share our thoughts and feelings.
Don't be afraid. What can happen?
People will either listen or turn away.
Up to them.
So now at the age of 60 (last year) , I have
to face a lot of changes on my own, It can be
a lonely life. I know I have family and friends,
but it just isn't easy being alone after all those years together.
I really hope to get back to blogging when
I have moved and settled down.
Where life will take me, who knows.
I also thought a lot about my dad ..
my wonderful dad who was so
cruelly taken from us to early.
50 years ago, next month.
I was 10 and he was 40.
WE missed out on so much.
I hope everyone understands why I have written this post.
Thank you for reading.
I hope someone does read it.
But for me it had to be done.
Thinking of you all and a HUGE big thank you
to everyone who has been and is there for me.
I would of put some pictures in the post, but unfortunately
I cannot get my phone to synch with my laptop :-(
♥♥♥♥♥♥
SEE YOU AGAIN SOON XX
Anne this is a beautiful post and so very brave of you to write it. I know you will get on top of everything and beat it all. You know where we are and you know you are always welcome. Take care, both of us think of you often. With love and good wishes Nigel and Diane xxooxx
ReplyDeleteHi Diane . Thank you for your lovely comment and your huge support over the last year. Really means a lot. And when I am all sorted I hopefully will be able to visit you with again. Love to you and Nigel xx
DeleteHi Anne,
ReplyDeleteAs I was reading the post two thoughts came to my mind - courageous and moving on. Physical illness is difficult to cope with, but the scars of depression are not always evident to others. You've had a lot to come to terms with and the loss of your home will be difficult, but I'm sure you will make a new home, wherever you choose that to be. Turning 60 is a milestone. Keep looking forward and share your concerns with others. Sending you hugs and good wishes In your search for a home and a job.
It's good to have you back xx
Dear Gaynor Thank you for your kind words.hope to be doing more blog posts soon. Sometimes we just have to feel the fear and go with it . Xx
DeleteI often think of you. I knew about your husband (can't believe that was 2015) but didn't realize all the other things until recently. Please know that we are all here for you, virtually!
ReplyDeleteBig thank you Jackie. I know, it is a year and half ago. Thank you for your support and thinking of me. .
DeleteA beautiful post, sharing your pain with us.
ReplyDeletelife can lead us into depression (me too) and all we need is that one spark of light to lead us onwards and of it.
I have had a difficult few weeks (starting Christmas Eve), your post helped me feel better. Thank you xx
Dear CherryPie.. I felt it had to be done. Part of the healing process. I am so happy that it helped you too. Take care xx
DeleteAnne, I'm so glad that you have written on your blog since that is how we met. I'm sorry for all the changes you face. Change can be gut wrenching, but it can lead to good things to, as your friend pointed out. I think many of us are uncomfortable when friends have a hard time because there is nothing we can do to make it better. Then we just feel awkward. I'm trying to be more open to listen to problems even when I know I can't fix them. This short video that I showed in class helped me realize that I was trying to distract people rather than supporting them in their pain. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're back on your blog and I hope to be here for you in the New Year.
Hi Paulita. Thank you for being there. A big support. Even though it is virtual. All helps. Thank you for the link. I will watch it. Also thank you for being honest about helping people.You think you cannot help people but you do. Opening up is hard . We have to find the right people. People we trust.and you are one of them. Just being there and listening is all it takes. Thank you. Xx
DeleteWell done Anne, all part of the healing process. xx
ReplyDeleteThank you Linda. That is what I thought. Get it out and on paper (blog) . And I helped another blogger too. Xx
DeleteA brave post, Anne, and one that I am sure will help you and others. God bless you and help you as you find your feet again in this coming year.
ReplyDeleteDear Anne,
ReplyDeleteI don't know how I managed to miss this post but here I am now.
How brave of you to open up and tell those who may not have known
about your depression (understandable) considering the stress that you've
had to endure over the years.
Do you remember the time you broke your ankle? You suffered terribly with
that;
At the time we used to chat, somehow I felt that there was more
than a broken ankle you were trying to deal with.
A broken ankle can be strapped up and repaired, subsequently people will be aware of
the pain and and discomfort and naturally act with sympathy and understanding,
However, a plaster cast and splints can't repair a broken heart and mind, sadly
mental illness, whatever the cause, is often overlooked and worse still, totally
ignored!
I hope you can find a suitable and affordable home as soon as possible, then you
will be able to look forward to the next chapter in you life and in particular,
keep on blogging, so we can read about your travels, daily doings and so on!
What was that BT slogan 'It's good to talk'?
So keep on talking dear Anne, I, for one, am listening, and judging from all
the lovely comments from your many friends, so are they.
It's also good to know
that you have the love and support of your family,
I don't know what I'd do without mine.
Take care and I pray you find another home soon and are able to settle into
a new chapter in your life.
So sorry to read this. I went through a painful divorce too and made it through to the other side. You will surprise yourself with how strong you can be. There is life and happiness after a divorce. Trust me.
ReplyDeleteHello Linda ..Thank you for your comforting words ..means a lot to have such support from you and everyone.
DeleteDear Anne,
ReplyDeleteI am very sorry to hear about all the things you went through and what you are still going through now.. I have tears in my eyes while writing this.. I know that you were going through the beginnings of this while you came to stay with us.. and I know how hard it was for you then.. I went through a very severe depression, as you know, after losing 5 of my very closest friends for apparently no real reason to me.. I was severely depressed and wanted to end it all.. (along with the deaths of three close friends in one months time and my surgery).. If it were not for FB, in which I just posted life's inspirations, and tried so hard to find my way out of the darkness, I would NOT have made it.. Thanks to a few close friends, who talked me through things.. It took me over a year.. I don't think I will EVER go back to that dark place, because it is so scary... It helps so much if you have love and support around you.. I don't know the reason we have to go through such traumatic things in life.. I wish we didn't.. I can only say that life is full of injustice, and that whatever we pass through, we learn how to cope with this that help make us a little stronger each time.. For whatever reason your life changed so dramatically as this, I hope you are able to find peace again, peace within and peace on the outer side.. so that your life can be lived by you to it's fullest... You will get to a point one day, where you will be at peace, I am sure of it.. I know the road is long, but you will come out stronger in the end.. Sending prayers and love to you... Leesa
Dear Leesa. Thank you for your very touching comment. I have emailed you x
DeleteAnne, This is a lot to be facing. I am sure it is rather scary when you think that at 60 life should be getting easier not full of uncertainty. Sorry to hear about the depression. I am sure we all get depressed when life is overwhelming. 2014 was my year of hell. Death was my demon. Thankfully, after a year of tears it became easier. I hope that your days become easier and you can smile and laugh and be at peace. Welcome back.
ReplyDelete